It has been 7 years and two months since I graduated from high school....and it has been 3 years and two months since the time that I always expected to finish college. The plan was simple: go to school, do some homework or something, blah blah blah (the middle part was always a boring grey area in my teenage plans for the future), graduate, get a kickass job, and live happily ever after. This also comes from the teenage mind that thought that it was of the utmost importance to get married by 21 at the latest so that I could start producing babies by 22, but that's a story for another day. The point is, in my mind, college was supposed to be easy: a quick stepping stone leading to a successful future.
It most certainly was not.
My college dreams seemed rock-solid in high school. I was dead-set on getting a degree in photography from Northern Arizona University, moving to New York City, and pursuing my dream of being an editorial photographer. I let a naysayer deflate those dreams, though (which admittedly weren't that solid, seeing as I let one doubter change my life plans.) I ended up at community college after high school with a 2-year scholarship and no idea what I wanted to do. I declared my major as creative writing, then switched it to psychology, then flip-flopped back to writing. I dropped out after an unsuccessful first semester--a combination of fear of change, lack of direction, and a generous pinch of laziness.
I returned to school after a semester off because I was under the impression that this is what I was supposed to do. I thought that getting any degree would instantly make me successful and happy. Another few major changes--business! No, music! Wait, journalism!--and a transfer to Arizona State University left me feeling still unsatisfied and directionless, and I dropped out again after a couple of failed classes with the sense that I would be stuck working in retail forever.
It was during this confused period that I found my passion for linguistics. Honestly, I had always loved language--I remember being so excited about my 4th grade grammar lessons that I would constantly correct my mother's conversational speech in the car on the way home from school (sorry, mom!)--I just didn't know that linguistics was a thing that I could study and pursue as a career.
Going back to school wasn't an easy step--I had to work my butt off for two more semesters at the community college and get straight A's to prove to myself that another transfer back to the university would be worth my time and money. And I've spent three semesters now at the university doing the same. I retook the courses that I failed on my first attempt at ASU in order to raise my GPA, and I loaded up on 15 to 18 upper-division credit hours so that I could graduate within my desired timeline, all while working to pay my bills. It has been a tough few years, but it has been worth it. Full disclosure (and this is a big, scary step for me to admit my prior failures) I managed to raise my GPA from a 2.08 to a 3.40 in the span of three semesters. I may be ashamed of the fact that I let myself fail the first time around, but I am so. damn. proud. of the work that I've done to make up for that, the hard-fought 4.0 semesters, and the fact that in December I will graduate cum laude.
Next month I'll start my final semester as an undergrad. The busy last three semesters have paid off, so that this semester I'm only taking three classes--two of which are online--and an internship. Part of me wishes that I could just stay in school forever, spending the whole day on campus, doing homework outside under a tree, and having study sessions with the friends I've made. Another part of me is excited to finish my degree and get out into "the real world." The biggest part of me is terrified of having my security blanket ripped away. With every semester-long break from school came the belief that I would eventually go back, so really this December will mark the official end of my education for the first time in 21 years.
I certainly hope that this isn't my last semester of higher education--soon enough, I hope to be back in the game in pursuit of my Master's degree in Linguistics. Right now, though, I feel that I owe it to myself to pursue a career that would make teenage-Kellie and present-day-Kellie proud. Regardless, present-day-Kellie is proud of what I've accomplished so far. Here's to the future.
Side note: I'm back! The last time I posted in this blog was 4 years ago, shortly after the first failed attempt at ASU, for a little perspective.
